Jimmy's Guide to the Galaxy
by TimeTravelinc
Summary: What if the characters of Case Closed were written into the whole universe of Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy? A story about a Earth man, his friend who lived in the ficinity of Betelguese, and the rest of the characters. From aliens, to the wacky world of Douglas Adams. Unfortunately, ON HIATUS!
1. Intro and Jimmy's House

In the galaxy, there are four billion stars. Those stars all hold planet that orbit around them. One of the cluster of planets is called the Sun. Orbiting the sun is a planet called Earth. It's history dates back to the beginning of the universe.

On the planet Earth, is a bunch of species called humans. Humans were considered to be the most intelligent beings on the planet. Of course, they were very unintelligent and unhappy. One day, a group of people thought it would be a great idea to trade green peices of paper.

Unfortunately, this idea was a bad idea for it was the people, not the green peices of paper that was sad. So the people continued to shout and yell at each other. They even had arguments on evolution (Rubbish really).

Then one day, one person came up with a way on how to be happy. Unfortunately, that idea as well as the person was blown to bits, as well as the planet that she lived on.

This is not that person's story.

This is not the story of a british fellow, and his alien companion hitchhiking across the cosmos with a two-headed partier, and a female human.

This is instead the story of a shrunken detective that had a bad experience with a bunch of people known as The Black Organization, who had the strange notion to become immortal and rule the world. This is also the story about Harley Hartwell (the detective's best friend), Rachel (the girl he loves), and Serena (Rachel's best friend). This is also about a wholly remarkable book, never heard by any Earth being (unless you're from a different part of the multiverse).

But we must begin the story, and it begins with a house

**Time Travel Inc.  
Presents**

**A Fan Fiction Dot Net Productions**

**A Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy/Case Closed Crossover**

**Jimmy's Guide to the Galaxy**

* * *

**Chapter 1: Jimmy's House**  
Jimmy woke up on the floor, wondering what to do. Getting up, he saw that he was in Anita's basement. _'How did I... oh yeah.' _he thought. Jimmy then drinking alcohol again, as part of a big experiment. As he walked up the stairs, he hoped Dr. Agaza had some pain killers. As he walked out of the basement, he looked out of the window. _'Yellow.'_ he thought. Walking over to the cabnet, he pulled out a cup and Ifruprofin. _'Yellow?' _The word yellow floated through Jimmy's head. Taking the pill, he walking upstairs. "Need to get dressed." Jimmy mumbled to himself.

Going up to the room, he found clothes on the bed with a sticky note.

Went out with Dr. Agaza. Trying to find ingrediants to cure.  
-Anita

"How nice." Jimmy said to himself. As he got dressed, he adjusted the vanity mirror. _'Bulldozer' _It readjusted to reveal Jimmy in his boxers. As he quickly got into his clothes, he tried to find something that could connect with the word yellow. He couldn't think straight, maybe it was this hangover. Curse the cure, and him liking it to num the pain. Jimmy was trying to remember why he was so hung over. A bypass, no a warrent. That's right, a warrent. He couldn't remember why. Walking down the stairs, he saw a second bulldozer outside drive pass the house.

Walking over to the coffee pot, he started to make coffee. "Yellow." he muttered. Why did it seem so familiar, at least this type of yellow? And what was that warrent for again?

Five minutes later, he was lying down in the mud in front of the house.

Mr. Jarred wasn't a very happy man, not usually. Picticularly, on this day today. He was a desendent of Peter the Great, a man of great talent and of great strength, who in turn was a desendent of Gengas Khan. However, Mr. Jarred, nor Gengas Khan did not know that. However we are focused on Mr. Jarred who didn't know about his desendents, due to curtural mixes over the years.

-  
"Yes, I'm lying in the mud, in front of my house. I want to speak to...yes. No, don't put me on..." Jimmy soon heard music come from his phone. "...hold. Nuts!" Jimmy said. Mr. Jarred walked over to where Jimmy was lying down. "Mr. Kudo, you're going to have to let us knock down the house. I'm afraid you had three weeks notice." Mr. Jarred said. "How was I supposed to know?" Jimmy said, shocked. "I was going to check on a few things, see how things were going before I left."

"Mr. Kudo, to tell you the truth, I would like to help," he said, lying under his breath, "I really would, but I have instructions that say to get rid of your home." Jimmy looked at him, thinking, then said, "Do you know who I am?" Jimmy said, in a certain tone of voice. Mr. Jarred was pieved, and was ready to grab him, throw him off the cliff, and dance around in a happy daze as Jimmy's body fell into the unknown. Mr. Jarred shook his head, remembering the job he had. He pulled down his hard hat, proving that he was serious.

"Mr. Kudo, do you know how much damage this will suffer, if I just let it roll right over you?" Mr. Jarred said. Jimmy was nervous, but went ahead and asked, "How much?" "None at all." The way Mr. Jarred said it, sent shivers down Jimmy's spine.

-  
By a strange couicidence, none at all is the chances of Jimmy guessing that his friend Harley, the detective from the west, was not a ape desendent, but a alien from another planet.

-  
Harley rode the cart down to Jimmy's house, parking it in front of a nearby bulldozer. He grabbed a couple of beers, then started to running towards the front door. "Jimmy!" Harley yelled. "Harley, over here!" he said. Harley turned around to see Jimmy, lying on the ground, in front of the bulldozer. He then ran up and crouched down next to Jimmy.

"Hey Jimmy, Whattya think you're doing? Taking a dirt nap?" Jimmy looked at Harley with a "are-you-kidding-me" look. "Harley, now's not the time for joking, they're going to destroy my home." Harley reacted differently than normal humans. "Woah! How didja know that?!" Jimmy huffed, like this was a joke, emphasizing what was going on. Harley looked around, suddenly realizing what he was talking about. "Oh when you mean they, you mean...right. Listen, I need to talk to you. Let's go to the public bar, you look like you need a stiff drink. Whattya say pal?" he said.

Jimmy really needed a stiff drink after what happened, but he then looked at his house. He then looked at Harley, "But what about my house?" he said. Harley looked at Jimmy's house, knowing that he'll never need it again. He then looked at Jimmy again, who was looking like he was upset. Harley decided to talk to the boss, Mr. Jarred.

Mr. Jarred talked to his relators, telling him how long Mr. Jimmy Kudo would be until some people of his would take him away. Harley walked toward Mr. Jarred, tapping him on the shoulder. "Mr. Jarred, excuse me?" Mr. Jarred turned around toward Harley. "But you don't really need my accosiate Jimmy Kudo right?" Mr. Jarred's brain was searching for the right answer to answer Harley's question. The messenger quickly pulled out a quick confused answer to send to the main center of the brain. "Er...yes." "So, you don't mind if I take my said accosiate, and pop him over to the pub for a quick drink?" Harley said.

Mr. Jarred realized where this was going, and smiled. _'This is sooner than I thought.' _"No, not at all." Harley smiled a way a man going after your neck would smile, then said, "Good, follow me." he said, motioning Mr. Jarred to follow him. They both went to where Jimmy was sitting, waiting for the call to stop being on hold. _'How long do they have to be on hold for?'_ he thought. Jimmy then looked up to where the both of them were standing. "Jimmy, c'mon we're going to get a drink." He said pulling up Jimmy. "Now, Mr. Jarred. I need you to lie down in the mud." Harley said.

Both Jimmy and Mr. Jarred did a double take, surprised at what Harley just said. "I'm sorry, what was that?" he said, adjusting his hard hat. "Ah see, you don't understand. You stay here and lie in the mud. Meanwhile, Mr. Kudo and I are going to pop over to the pub and get ourselves a drink or two." Mr. Jarred started to feel a sinking sensation of dread, realizing who the real loser was. He soon walked over to where Jimmy was lying and layed down. "And just so you won't try knocking Mr. Kudo home down while he's away..." Harley grabbed his cart full of beer and placed it in the center. "Workers of Earth, I give you good tidings and beer." he announced, giving out six packs, bottles and cans of it.

Jimmy was shocked, surprised that all of this was happening. As he tried to wrap his head around the events that followed, Harley started to walk him toward the local bar. Meanwhile, Mr. Jarred closed his eyes, as he heard the sound of war, he smelt smoke, and he felt somehow relieved. Almost happy, as he saw the visions that frightened him long ago as a child.

Jimmy somehow managed to say in his shock, "It must be Mondays, I'm never good on Mondays. They always hate me." He then turned toward Harley, wondering what got over him. "Do you think we can trust them?" Jimmy said, still confused. His brain decided to take a 5 minute break, which would be how long until they were at the bar. "Oh, I trust them till the end of the Earth." "How long is that?" Jimmy wondered. "About 15 minutes or so." Harley said. Jimmy still confused about everything, said only the one thing that could make sense at the time. "What?" he said.

* * *

**Author's Notes:** Happy Birthday Douglas Adams. That's right, I decided to write this story when I realized that it was the Author of the HHG2TG's Birthday.  
Thank you Google. Anyways, I'm leaving this out and hopefully, I'll have another update by the weekend.

Remember, Reviews are welcome.


	2. A Stiff Drink

Chapter 2: A Stiff Drink

Harley and Jimmy both stepped into the bar. Then, Harley ran up to the bartender and said, "Six pints on the double, the world is about to end." The bartender placed a glass of beer for both Jimmy and Harley, to which Harley just slapped down a five-yen. "Keep the change." he said. The bartender was surprised, then went to take other orders from others. Harley soon started chugging down his beer.

"Three pints each... at lunchtime?" Jimmy said. Harley continue to chug down his beer, without taking a breath. Jimmy stared at him, slack jaw at the man who was doing something improbable to any normal human. He then stopped chugging his beer, took a quick glance at his friend, then wiped his mouth on a towel. "Time is a illusion, lunchtime... doubly so." he said. Jimmy nodded, then said, "That's very deep. You should be a writer for the Reader's Digest." "Can't. Won't exsist in the next few minutes." Harley said, then started grabbing bags of peanuts stuffing them into his pockets. Jimmy wondered how Harley was fitting that many bags of peanuts into his pocket, then decided aginst it, afraid that his brain would explode or something irrational and unexplainable would happen.

Jimmy then looked into the beer, and flicked it. "Why six pints though?" he asked. Harley grabbed a bag of peanuts and opened them, popping them into his mouth. "Relaxant." "Relaxant?" Jimmy repeated in question. Harley nodded, then took a small sip of his beer. Jimmy just shrugged at this, then started swigging it down. What Jimmy didn't know was that the beer had a odd effect of extending his time as a teen, due to the fact that the mix of alcohol caused a strange effect with the original alcoholic cure and strangely causing a absurd effect on his mind.

"Jimmy, how long have we been friends?" he said. Jimmy thought about it for a extended perriod of time, before he said, "For a perriod of time, 4... maybe 6 years, or so." "Remember the first time I came to Japan?" Harley said. Jimmy started to flashback to long ago.

* * *

_Flashback..._

Harley is walking around, looking, trying to find someone. He then sees someone, and smiles holding out his hand. Jimmy happens to be walking by, carrying a soccer ball. He then spots Harley, "Hey buddy. Get out of the road." Jimmy said. Harley continues to stare straight ahead, frozen like a statue. "Hey!" he yells, but Harley doesn't budge. Jimmy then drops his soccer ball, running out, tackling Harley... just as a car zooms by them, missing them by the skin of their teeth. Jimmy and Harley look at the scene, then they look at each other.

"Hi, I'm Harley, and you are?" he said. Jimmy stares at him with disbelief.

* * *

..."Oh yeah, now I remember." Jimmy said, nodding. "Don't you think it was strange, maybe odd, that I was shaking hands with a car?" "I presumed that you had too many beers, and was drunk at the time." Jimmy said, then smiled at what he just said. Harley just gave him the "What?" look. He then shook his head. "What? I thought it was the only logical explanation." Jimmy said, then he drank her beer down.

"I thought cars were the dominate species of this planet." Harley said. Jimmy looked at him, with disbelief. "What gave you that idea?" he said. Harley started to flashback, but then stopped it before him and his friend's time was up. "Let's just say I remember a planet full of living machines." "Planet?" Jimmy said. Jimmy's brain started to process the sentence that he just heard, but it suddenly had indegestion causing his brain to literally fart. The gas made it's way to his throat to try and throttle him, but it instead made it into his digestive track.

There was a squeaky pants toot.

Harley then placed a hand on Jimmy's shoulder. "What if I told you that I wasn't born on Earth, but was from a faraway facinity of Beatlegeause?" Jimmy's brain failed in several places, before it ended up being rebooted again. Jimmy looked at Harley, then said, "That may explain why you're not the greatest detective." He smiled at his little joke. Harley just shook his head, then said, "You saved my life Jimmy, so now I'm saving your's" he said, drinking more of his beer.

He then pulled out of his sachel, a small black rectangular device. It popped up to reveal a blue screen, showing a flashing signal and several symbols. "So, why are you so down." he said, placing the device back into his sachel. "Well, you remember the girl I've been going out with?" he said. Harley looked at him, then said, "You mean the one girl you told yet that-." "Yes, that one." he said. Harley nodded, drinking his beer. "Well, she just dissapear, and her father thinks that I may have something to do with it." he said. Harley had a nagging feeling in the back of his head, not knowing weather this was a freaky coincidence, or something in the cosmos that wanted Rachel alive as well as Jimmy.

As he considered this, he checked his device again before placing it into his sachel. Inside was his toothbrush, a pocket knife, a crystal cube, and a couple of Earth books to hide his terrestrial things. These things were a Sub-Etha Sense-O-Matic which was bleeping about the Vogon ships, a towel, a spare electronic thumb (his other one was on his thumb as a ring), and a small square book-like object.

This book-like object was 'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy', a wholly remarkable book.

* * *

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy _has a few things to say on the subject on towels._

_A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitchhiker can have. Partially it has great practical value. You can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marbel-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhalling the heady sea vapors; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert of Kakrafoon; use it to sail down a miniraft down the slow heavy River Moth; wet it in use for hand-to-hand combat; use it to get a fellow hitchhiker's phone number; wrap it around your head to ward off noxious fumes or avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (A mind-bogglingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you-dumb as a pile of bricks, but very, very ravenous); you can wave it your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.  
_

* * *

The Sub-Etha Sense-O-Matic started to wink in and out, alerting Harley that they were coming. High above the Earth, were small yellow ships that hovered above the Earth preparing for the destruction of Earth.

He then tapped Jimmy, saying, "Drink up! Drink up!" Suddenly, there was a boom, not big enough to shake the whole bar, but enough to cause a small beer can to tip over on the windowseal. "What was that?" Jimmy said. "That wasn't the Vogons." Harley said, sipping his beer, eating some peanuts. "Oh," Jimmy sipped the last of his beer, as his brain tried to process the information again. "What?" "That wasn't the Vogons," Harley said. Jimmy nodded, sipping the beer, finishing it up. "That was probably the desruction crew destroying your house." Harley said, taking the last beer in one big gulp. The bartender gave him his last pint.

"What!" Jimmy said. He then quickly went to the window, as Harley started to nonchilantly sip his beer. "Your right. What the heck am I doning here?" Jimmy said. "Ah, let them have their fun, the world's about to end soon." Harley said, waving it away. He then decided to quickly chug his beer again. Jimmy looked at Harley again, then back outside at his house. "Damn their fun!" Jimmy exclaimed. He soon ran out the door, cussing like a mad man. Harley finished his beer, then grabbed more peanuts. "People of Earth, a round of drinks..." he placed another five-yen down, "For everyone."

The bartender was surprised again. He reeled for a moment, hit by a shocking, incomprehinsible sense of distance. He didn't know what that ment, but he looked at Harley with a new sense of respect, almost awe. "Is the world really going to end?" "Yes" he said, checking the Sense-O-Meter again. "Shouldn't we lie down or put paper bags over our heads?" she said. "If you like to." Harley ran for the door, opened it, then stopped, "Although, It won't help at all." he added, before giving her a thumbs up.

She gulped in surprise, then said, "Last call for drinks."

* * *

Jimmy soon made it home, seeing that there was not much of his house left. He was angry, no really angry. He soon started yelling and cursing, acting like he just snapped. He however didn't notice the workers stopping what they were doing and running away, nor the large shadow looming over the broken house.

Jimmy tripped on a piece of debree, landing on the matress. He was soon staring at a horribly rusted, large, square ship. As it screeched over the Earth, Jimmy noticed a newspaper with the words, "Dolphins suddenly dissapear". As Jimmy got up, Harley ran through the debree until he found Jimmy a towel. He then noticed a suitcase with a sticky note on it. Shrugging, he grabbed it, and went straight towards Jimmy. "Jimmy!" he said.

Jimmy looked at Harley, then at the ship. "What the heck is that thing?" Jimmy said, pointing upward. Harley started to jump and hop for joy, "Yeow! They're a Vogon Constructor fleet. I picked up their signal last night." Harley said. Jimmy was frightened and scared, almost peeing himself... almost. Harley gave Jimmy the suitcase, and hung the towel around Jimmy's neck. He then twisted the small knob on his ring, then grabbed Jimmy sticking his thumb up. Soon, a small energy beam shot out of the ring, hitting the ship. "What are you doing?" Jimmy said. Hang on, we're hitching a ride." Harley said. All of a sudden, all signals to all radios, TV, and anything that could vibrate with sound became with speaker. This is what it said.


	3. The Vogon's Speech to Earth

**Chapter 3: The Vogon's Speech to Earth**  
_or "The Vogons Speak to Earth, then Destory It"_

**_I don't own anything except for this story.  
'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy' and it's universe it created by _Douglas Adams _and owned by him.  
'Case Closed/Detective Conan' is owned by the company _Funimation Anime.**

***SCREECH!* **_Um, people of Earth? We regret to inform you that your planet is one of those _"Sceduled for demolition" _type of planets. All of a sudden, the entire world paniked._

_You shouldn't complain at all. The plans for your planet has been at your local sellers for 30 of your Earth years at your local Alpha Centuri. Anyways, have a nice life, or should I say nice afterlife. _Then there was dead silence. Jimmy looked at Harley, Harley looked at Jimmy, then they both looked at the ship floating right above their head.

Somewhere in America, NASA was quicky running around, trying to find a way to contact the ship. In New York, and in England, some people were prancing around. The reason why was because they realized that they were right, the end of the world was today. Back in Flordia, they finally made contact and told them someting to see if they would change their mind. They didn't realize who, or what they were talking to.

_What?! What do you mean you haven't been there, all you have to do is drive your ship- what? Well haven't you invented a Hyperspace Generator? You haven't hmm? Well, who's fault is that? A pathetic bloody planet, I have no sympathy at all._ He then said something to the Vogon ships, as the demolition process began. Harley grabbed Jimmy, and pointed his thumb upwards towards the sky.

Space is a interesting thing, and anyone who was sitting outside of the planet when they saw it, would see several trillion ships surrounding the planet. The planet, all of a sudden, popped...  
...like a balloon was popped with a single pin.


End file.
